WARNING: You need to read this article alone. I ask you to say some stuff aloud that might be embarrassing to you or aggravating to others upon first utterance. With that caveat stated, now a question. Do you love the chant of the auctioneer? Maybe you remember attending livestock sales as a kid. Maybe you enjoy going to estate sales. Whatever the case, much of the show and intrigue is listening to the fast talking auctioneer. Their ”cry“ just builds enthusiasm and excitement. Do you ever wish you could chant like an auctioneer? If so, I’m going to teach you the basics in this article. In about 5 minutes you’re going to hopefully impress even yourself by becoming a bid caller.

I, a very young man and hungry to have a farm of my own, was managing a small goat dairy for an absentee owner. The farm paper was on the table at the neighbor’s house. I read the ad over five or six times and felt a terrible magnetic itch. I didn’t have any money to spare, a few bucks waiting to swell to enough to pay for a new coat and some groceries. I didn’t know anything about auctions except what I garnered from little snatches – of how a guy could get caught scratching his nose and end up buying something, slices of the singsong banter of the auctioneer pulling in people’s attention, the air filled with an urgency like a race underway, a woman walking around in front of a gathering of folks with a lamp held up high for viewing.

When I can pull myself away from the farm and I’ve got a few dollars to burn I’m an avid auction-goer. To me, a good farm auction is a fun social occasion and an educational experience to boot. And if I can get a few good deals while I’m there, so much the better. So what follows are a set of tips and tricks I have observed and used in my own auction-going experiences. May they be of good use to you as well.